Random Babble (for Lack of Any Catchy Title)

I'm looking at the royalty-free music websites from the forum and I notice Japanese websites with royalty-free music. There are some nice music and some Japanese songs that I like from those sites. Too bad I can't understand Japanese. Well, I do know 'konnichiwa!' and 'sayonara!' but that's about it. Yes, my Japanese language skill is mediocre and very basic. -_-; I want to learn Japanese but right now, I'm just too hooked on games to learn anything new, lol.

Right now, I'm still playing Brave Frontier. And adding to my collection is an Android RPG called Adventure Bar Story. It's nice, got nice graphics and cute gameplay. I always just play RPGs from Kemco but that can get boring fast. I mean, sure I like the games and the stories, but it's always a nice change of pace to play games from another game developer than just being stuck with one developer.

As of now, I haven't updated my story yet, let alone touch my computer in a while. To continue my story anyway, lol. I played The Way We All Go last weekend, and I played it the whole day, and only finished 10 endings. God, the story was long, but I don't mind since it's interesting. I'm going to finish it this weekend and hopefully unlock all of the endings.

I pester my sisters to write stories with me. Collaboration to write stories. But my sisters refuse, saying that they're busy when one of the is jobless and the other is on holiday break from university. >.> I have a job and I'm the busiest among them but I still have passion to write. I may not write sometimes but I think on how my story will go. Bleh, my sisters are boring. I want to collaborate with other writers but not being face to face and not having enough time and energy to communicate is hampering me. People usually prefer Skype (which I have but never active) but I prefer face to face. It's always easier. Also, it can be difficult to reach a common ground.

My sister also said that I should draw my own sprites rather than using other people's sprites. Well, I do have a lot of CC sprites from other people that I saved in my computer. I can draw but not very good at it. And I suck at colouring. Plus I have limited time. Most of my time is at work, then resting. Maybe when I have the time, I will draw my own sprites. We'll see.

Memory Dump Part 2

I finally was able to free up some time to actually be productive. For the past few weeks, I've been busy with real life. Learning Adobe Illustrator really is taking my time. I haven't been checking on some websites that I frequent either. But at least I have already replied to letter from my penpals. Yes, I still like sending letters to my penpals from other countries. Majority of my penpals are from Japan. The rest are from Europe countries and America.

Anyway, here is the last part of the story that I made. I actually know where this is going, but I don't have the time to do it. I am focusing on another story that I'm writing. I want to finish that first. So I don't think I can continue this story. But if you want my idea, I can tell you. Or if you just want to continue this story with your own perspective and idea, then be my guest. Italicized font is where the story starts.

I run out through the door and into the streets. The streets are always busy, and yet, strangely, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. In fact, I don’t even see stray dogs or cats roaming the streets. The streets were so full of those annoying creatures before. I run to one of the houses on the street and try knocking on the door, but no one answers. I try the others as well but it is all in vain. I run to the local supermarket, but it’s empty. No one ever comes in or out. I’m starting to feel like a zombie on an empty planet. Why is there no one around? Is there any logical explanation to this phenomenon?

Having nothing to evaluate the situation that I’m in, I resolve to walk aimlessly along the empty streets, looking for any sign of life. It’s like everyone disappears without me knowing anything. The first place that I want to check is the graveyard just to see if there is any mass grave because everyone died at the same time. Along the way, I don’t see a single soul. I don’t hear any sound except for the sound of my own footsteps. It’s deafening against the still atmosphere. I check my watch and as expected, it’s still stuck on 5. It’s unnerving, and I don’t get nervous often.

I reach the graveyard at the edge of the town and what greets me is a grim, empty place. I predict this already, but I can’t quite remember if the graveyard is as dark as this. It’s as if there’s an aura of darkness enshrouding the graveyard. It’s like day outside, but when I step a foot inside the premise of the cemetery, it’s as dark as night. I’m contemplating whether I should go further inside or just bail out. My brain tells me to stop and step outside, but my instinct tells me to go and take a look inside. Just a little bit. If there is anything strange, I can just run.

Curiosity gets the better of me, so I gingerly step inside the cemetery. But now I find that it’s not as easy to run away as I expected. Once I’m completely inside, my whole vision is immediately consumed by darkness except for the outline of every gravestone. I can barely see anything, not even the street from whence I came from. It’s like I’m in an entirely different dimension. Only that this seems so real and it’s happening to me. Never in a million year that I’ve thought that this is possible. But I guess that my fate is a weird one and it’s playing with me.

I suddenly hear the sound of bells ringing in the distance. I decide to approach the source of the sound. Maybe I will find the answer for this maddening situation that I’m in. A trickle of sweat  runs down my back. I realize that I’d never been this nervous before. I’m usually someone that you’d call a calm and level headed guy. I do get nervous sometimes, yes, but I can always work things out and reason calmly with my mind. But this is entirely different. It’s extraordinary. I’ve never been in this situation before or even heard of people in the same situation that I’m in now. It makes me feel hopeless and helpless.

I still hear the tinkling sound of bells, but it’s getting louder. As I get closer, I see a small wooden hut. It looks like it can break down at any second. Around it, there are torches burning dimly, giving an eerie glow. The bell are attached on the ropes enjoining the torches. Even though there is no wind, the bells seem to be moving on their own accord.

The wooden staircase creaks noisily as I step on it. I fear that whoever or whatever is inside the hut will hear the noise that I made. I hope that anything that’s inside the hut is not hostile towards intruders like me. I reach the door and open it. Not surprisingly, it’s dark inside. This is just too surreal. Surely this can only happen in horror movies. I still can’t accept that this is my reality. I’m deciding whether I should go inside or not. I peer into the darkness.

“I’ve been waiting for you, young man,” a voice calls out from inside. I’m startled. The voice sounds human enough to me. But I’m cautious. Voice can be deceiving. I don’t want to step inside until I’m certain that I’m out of danger. A small figure walks unsteadily to my line of vision. I finally can see the figure who called me out before. It’s an old man with silvery long hair with an equally long beard. His moustache is hanging low and covering his lips. This old man is bushy. I can’t clearly see his face through all those extra hair. Even his eyebrows are long and thick. A wooden cane is supporting his weight. This kind of man looks like he’s straight out from comic books.

“Who are you?” I ask, squinting my eyes. I don’t know if I look intimidating enough, though I hope I do. But I can’t deny that I have sweaty palms and cold sweat trickling on my face.

The old man just eyes me, sizing me up and down. “This is your reality, embrace it, young man,” he answers vaguely. He taps his cane on the floor gently. It oddly reminds me of the sound of the bells. Why does it sound so nostalgic? Almost as if I've heard of this before, but I can’t place where. Some memories are running through my head, but almost all of them are indistinct. It’s like a bad tape with blurry visions and static noises.

I gasp, waking up from my slumber with such intense force that I stand up. All eyes are focused on me. “What’s the matter, Touma?” the math teacher asks, stopping in her track. She looks at me with a worried expression on her face. I look around me, lost for words. Was it all just a dream? It feels so real. 

And that's the end of the story. I'd like anyone to adopt this story because I'd hate this story to go to waste. I can always help with the story if anyone is interested, but I'm not always online. I can be reached through Lemmasoft Forum though. 

Memory Dump Part 1

I've decided to scrap this story that I made. Of course it's not finished yet, so that's why I'm posting it here. I made this in my Android. Given my circumstances, I don't think I will ever finish the story. I've thought about dumping the idea in Lemmasoft but it's three pages long already and I'm too lazy to actually post the summary. So here I am, rewriting the whole story from the Android because I'm just too lazy to transfer it to my computer. Yes, I'm that lazy. Or it's just my excuse to feel that I'm being productive by copying everything from scratch, lol.

I don't have any specifics about using my idea. You don't even have to credit me, but if you ever use it, I would like to see/read/play it. It would be fun seeing the characters in action. :3 Just link back in the comment or go to Lemmasoft and inbox me. I'm a lurker there so I'd check from time to time. Italicized font is where the story starts.

I see black and white: a world void of anything, no meaning at all. Nothing noteworthy. What is my existence then? Am I the only coloured 'thing' in the world? I am grey. And grey is an even duller colour than white and black. That is how I see the world. Plain. Boring. Uninteresting. I might as well just disappear.

====

I yawn heavily. As always when mornings come, I would walk lazily to school. I am still an average typical high school student. I do love learning, but being in high school, I feel that everything is monotonous. It's not as lively as I thought it would be. I see girls chatting happily with their girl friends. I see boys laughing and slapping their friends' backs. I never wish to be any of them. Fakes. Once you leave high school, you will most likely never contact any of them anyway. It's shallow and pointless to make any friends at this stage. Friends for life, my ass.

You might think that I sound bitter. But in fact, I am just stating the right thing. Relationships are shallow; nothing will last forever. You might think that I'm a nerd who doesn't have any friends and who gets bullied and pushed around. Or the goth guy who only talks about depressing stuff and suicide. You can't be more wrong. 

I am quite happy with my life. I have nothing to worry about. My grades are good, I excel at sports, I'm good looking, I'm well-mannered, I'm quite rich, I have a nice family, a kind circle of friends and I even have a caring, sweet girlfriend. You can say that I lead such a perfect life. I'm not bragging but that's the truth. Yet sometimes, I feel so empty and hollow. As if there is something missing in my life. That everything is just empty husks. Lately I've been wondering if there's even any point in existing at all. I sigh, realizing that I sound too negative.

"Touma-kun!" As always, Maria, my girlfriend, waves from the front gate of the school. She's always cheerful, I don't know where she gets the positive energy every morning. Certainly not from me. How I come to be with her, well, I can't remember much since it was about a year ago that she asked me out. I think I just automatically agreed because, well, why not?

I flash her a crooked smile. "You're so bright early in the morning," I comment, walking alongside her. We're in the same classroom so it's quite convenient to walk together. Along the way, we keep on smiling and greeting friends that we know along the hallway. It's tiring to keep up the façade of being friendly all the time. My lips are numb from too much smiling. But you know, you have to keep up to please others.

"Whew, so lovey-dovey this morning too, eh, Touma?" Yuusuke whistles as we enter the classroom. 

"Cut it out!" Maria retorts. She's clearly embarrassed but happy at the same time. You can see it on her blushing face. I think this girl really loves me. It flatters me but it also suffocates me at the same time. This means that she will have expectations towards me. It burdens me to think about that. I don't want to give too much hope only to crush it in the end. I'm uncomfortable with this sort of thing. Commitment is always an issue to me. I don't want to get too attached with transient feelings. I don't show it on the outside though. I don't have any intention to leave her for now, but in relationships, anything can happen. So it's only logical to not have any expectations at all. 

I wrap my arm around her shoulder. "Let him be jealous," I grin. That's a cheeky thing to say, but it's supposed to be romantic to her and funny to him at the same time. The perfect catchphrase. 

"Haha, I hate you man. You get all the nice girls," Yuusuke chuckles, slapping my back playfully.

Maria looks all flustered but that's okay because it's cute. I do get all the nice girls, just like Yuusuke said. I have had 6 ex girlfriends in my entire life and they were all beautiful and classy. Maria is top notch though and at more or less the same level as me; cute, smart, athletic, elegant and rich. She's also nice and kind to people. Of course I am nice too, but only on the outside. In actual fact, I'm really rotten on the inside. If people can smell my stench, they will be revolted and disgusted. 

Time passes by quickly and classes progress. Just another typical school day to me. Nothing interesting to note. Yet again. I watch clouds float by outside. Between the drifting clouds, the blue sky can be seen. I hear the sound of bird chirping. Another pretty day and I feel so blue. I watch this scene too many times before that it's starting to get to me. I sigh, my shoulders slumping. I wish the day will just end so I can go home to relax and unwind. I can hear the teacher's monotonous voice distantly. It's enough to make me feel drowsy.

==

I don't know how many hours have passed since I drifted off to sleep. The class is eerily empty with the last of the red rays of sun. I yawn heavily. The effect of sleeping is still consuming me. Dragging my feet and bag lazily, I got off from school. I walk unsteadily to my home. When I reach home, there is no one inside, as always. My parents are always busy and my sister is not home yet. She's always busy with her social life. I don't want to interfere in her business. I don't have any reason to. 

I enter my messy room and just sit on my bed, pondering about things in general. This bed is like my 'thinking bed'. My mind is always running around until I sleep. Since I have had enough sleep at school, my mind just keeps running wildly. That's when I realize that everything is quiet. In fact, when I think back, there doesn't seem to be anyone at school. Nor at the streets. Nor in my house. It's still. Nothing is moving. I immediately look at my wrist watch, and sure enough, it's stuck at 5. I check my mobile phone and it's also 5. The clock on the wall also stops dead at 5. They are at a standstill, not moving an inch. It's a strange coincidence to have them dead at the same time and the same hour. 

I'm not one to panic so I try to calm down and think. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and I will wake up. I pinch my cheeks. Okay, it hurts enough to know that I'm not dreaming. Or maybe this is just my daydream and I'll snap out of it in a few seconds... Nope, not daydream, it seems. Maybe they are all somewhere and I just didn't notice. I start to get up and the first thing that I do is to try to call my family members, then Maria, then Yuusuke, then the friends who never matter. The calls get through each time, but strangely enough, there is not a single person who answers. Now is it a good time to panic? I think yes. 

Okay, I think I'll stop there for now. I will dump the part 2 next week (or when I have free time). I have idea on how to make the story, the content, the ending, but at my pace, I won't be able to finish it. Plus, I'm writing another story too at the moment. At one time, I was planning to make this into a VN. Its genre is suspense, drama, fantasy. It can be anything though if you decide to use it.

On another note, I'm learning Adobe Illustrator now. Frankly, I'm not a good digital artist. I can draw traditionally, but colouring, well, I'm pretty bad at it. So I can make sprites myself or even do CG myself. It doesn't even do me justice that I'm bad at pen tooling and colouring on PS. I'm always trying to improve myself, though I go to hiatus every now and then. Not a good habit though. ._.

Written Story's Improvement?

None. I absolutely have no improvement whatsoever with my story. Mental block. Or rather, I've been lazy, lol. The weather these days are super mild, not much sun and always raining. I love rain. I love how it's making me sleepy. That's why I sleep, then take afternoon naps sometimes. I love how boring my life is without work (yes, sarcasm intended). I wish I can find a good job soon. Sigh, these days, it's pretty hard to find a job. Part time jobs don't even pay much, but it's still better than nothing.

I'm addicted to Brave Frontier (MMORPG) and Machine Knight (RPG) on Android. They're pretty fun. I'm a sucker for RPGs, especially turn-based RPGs. Not so much action RPG and SRPG though. I'm a relaxed person so turn-based RPGs for me.

I have completed another short game. It's more of a quiz though, it's in my language (Malay) and it's more towards educational religious theme, so I don't think I'll distribute it online. Right now, I'm in the middle of writing a story, it's already at 10 000+ words and just one path. I'm thinking of writing more but I've been putting it off for a while now. It's still a work in progress, so I'm not sure when I'll finish it or if I'll ever finish it at all.

I have trouble with programming codes for Ren'Py. It doesn't do much justice for my game at all. I try some of the tutorials in the forum, but I mess up a lot. I try incorporating gallery, then changing GUI, but apparently I don't know how to correctly use it, then it ended up in a mess, error all the way. It's frustrating. But still, the process of learning is actually pretty fun. Up until now, I haven't figured out how to insert gallery for customized GUI. Also, the placement of GUI is something that I'm weak at. I think it'd be better if I just use the default one for now. I'm glad there are people to ask around though. I may not need help for now since my script isn't finished yet, but I may need it later.

I can't make art or music too, that's why I'm thankful for free sprites and music. Thank you, thank you! :D But I may need help with CG. Right now, I'm just working on script, so I'll think about other things later.

Yes, I play with GIMP. Not a pro or anything, just a hobbyist. Not that good at it either. Below is one of my latest works. Yes, I was bored, haha. It's Kagamine Rin of Vocaloid. Render and C4D's are not mine, so credits to them, I don't claim any ownership over these. I'm just using the resources to create a signature.

While I'm at this, I have to say I have fun watching dance central/just dance on Youtube, especially from this guy. There are others too that I enjoy watching. I also enjoy watching this guy dance, he's so cute and he's like a cuddly teddy bear. :D

Alright, enough with the random things, I'm off to whip up some stories. Prepare to work overtime, brain. ._.

First Post of the Day

This is my first blog and...I have nothing to write, really, lol. I just made this because I want to share my hobbies and my thoughts. Most of them are random though. This blog is public too, so it means that I won't hide any posts that I made.

I made this blog to link back to my account on Lemma Soft forum. It's currently my passion. That is, making a visual novel. Or in my case, it would be better to create kinetic novel. I've tried making one visual novel, but it was really, really short. The story was written a few years ago. It was meant as a short story. Other than that, all of the things I put together were from various sources, mostly found in the forum as creative commons. Regarding visual novels, I still have a lot to learn. I think I can make my own template and coding, but I'm still a newbie, and I'm very bad at it.

If anyone is interested to try this game, click on the logo below to get to the main download at mediafire.